Every year, we’re all pressured to create ambitious New Year’s resolutions aimed at transforming our lives overnight. Yet, we leave most of the goals behind almost instantly, making us feel frustrated and disappointed. So why do resolutions often fail? The problem usually isn’t with our motivation but instead with the goals themselves. Resolutions can be too vague, overly ambitious, or rooted in perfectionism or negatively-charged emotions towards ourselves. The pressure of achieving large and drastic changes all at once can cause burnout, leaving us right where we started. What if we tried approaching resolutions differently? By focusing on specific, realistic, and healthy goals, we can set ourselves up for long-term success.
Dangers of Unhealthy Resolutions and How to Spot Them
While New Years resolutions can spark positive change, they can also do more harm than good when rooted in negative self-perception, are overly restrictive, or are unrealistic. To spot unhealthy resolutions, look out for extreme language. Words like “never” or “always” can indicate overly drastic goals that aren’t healthy. Unhealthy resolutions may also focus on punishments when they should focus on rewards and positive motivation. If a resolution feels more like a punishment than a positive challenge, it’s unhealthy. Also lookout for resolutions that prioritize external validation. Resolutions should be driven by personal fulfillment instead of societal expectations or approval. Not only can unhealthy resolutions be hard to keep up with, they can actually harm you. Setting unhealthy resolutions can lead to burnout, stress, and negative behaviors. Resolutions driven by dissatisfaction with yourself can harm your self-esteem and make you feel not good enough. When the focus is put on fixing perceived flaws, it’s easy to internalize failure if you don’t meet your goals. Unhealthy resolutions can even harm your body when it comes to behavior like extreme diets or over-exercising. Resolutions should make you feel good, not put you in danger.
What Makes A Healthy Resolution
Creating healthier resolutions starts by shifting your mindset from drastic changes to smaller, manageable steps within the larger goal and making those steps specific and realistic. For example, instead of saying that you want to “exercise more”, try setting a goal like, “I will walk for 30 minutes a day, 5 times a week”. This kind of a goal may be realistic to achieve and is definitely specific. Additionally, healthier resolutions should focus on habits and not outcomes. If your resolution is to eat healthier, focus on adding more fruits and vegetables into your diet rather than eliminating other food groups. Most importantly, resolutions should come from a place of self-love and never self-hatred. Avoid goals that stem from a negative mindset or goals that encourage overworking yourself. Including self-care in your resolutions ensures you’re taking care of your mental and physical wellbeing while working to better yourself. Staying flexible and prioritizing self-care will help you stay motivated and avoid feelings of resentment or exhaustion.
Staying Motivated
Even with the best intentions and the right kind of goals, it can be hard to stay motivated when making healthy changes. Motivation tends to decrease over time, especially when life gets busy and progress seems slow. To stay motivated, start by celebrating smaller accomplishments. For example, if your resolution is to learn an instrument, acknowledge each week you make your target practice time by rewarding yourself. A simple reward like grabbing your favorite treat, buying yourself something you’ve been wanting, or even just acknowledging your efforts can go a long way. Try finding an accountability partner by sharing your resolution with a friend or family member to help motivate you. They can check in on your progress, celebrate your achievements with you, and provide encouragement if things get hard. Even better, create a shared resolution to take on your goals together. Most importantly, focus on your “Why”. Revisit the reasons behind your resolution when you’re not feeling as motivated. Remind yourself why you set this goal in the first place. Whether it’s to improve your health, learn a new skill, or reduce stress, revisiting your why can boost motivation.
Overcoming Setbacks
Setbacks are a natural part of any personal growth journey. Setbacks don’t mean failure-they provide opportunities to learn and adapt. To prevent feeling discouraged, avoid all-or-nothing thinking. Missing one workout or forgetting to practice the new language you’re learning for a day doesn’t erase all your progress. Remember that it should always be progress over perfection. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, use it as a chance to reflect. Ask yourself what caused the setback and what you can learn from the experience to reduce setbacks moving forward. You can also use setbacks as an opportunity to revisit and adjust your goal. Maybe the setback was due to your goal being too ambitious or not being a good fit for your lifestyle. It’s okay to reassess your resolution and make adjustments if necessary. For example, if working out every day feels overwhelming, scale back your goal to working out 3 or 4 times a week. Flexible goals are more sustainable over time. When a setback occurs, it’s crucial to lean on your support system. Turn to friends and family for support and guidance to get you back on track. Sharing your struggles can help you feel less isolated and provide you with valuable advice on how to keep going.
